Madina Tadzhibaeva from Kyrgyzstan
My name is Madina and I am from Kyrgyzstan. I am someone who likes listening to people, helping others while learning from them. I arrived in Philadelphia in 2019 where I met my husband. We got married and we now have 2 lovely daughters. With no relatives in the US and getting married young and by ourselves, we faced a lot of challenges. We had a small wedding with no idea of how to plan for it, but we were able to do it with some support from our Kyrgyzstan community.
My husband tried working to earn money while I was pregnant and stayed home taking care of our babies. We experienced culture shock as we tried to move on, make friends, but everything was strange to us from the culture to the language. I stayed home for more than 2 years and was so stressed as I experienced postpartum depression with minimal support. We were hardly able to talk to our parents who missed us and when we shared our problems, they could not understand our experience. They were sad since they felt they were unable to help us but we had to manage everything by ourselves
I faced the English language barrier when I arrived. I can recall a time when I needed to make a phone call. It was challenging and awkward since I could not understand what the person on the other end was saying. There is a girl in our community who speaks English very well and I would wait for her after she arrived home from school so that she could help me. After some time, I decided to look for English classes and began talking more and I believe I speak much better now.
I got connected to Let’s Talk Philly Conversation Circles (LTP) through our Kyrgyzstan community WhatsApp group when they shared the link to their conversation circles. I used this opportunity to get connected and applied. A friend recommended LTP and informed me that each conversation circle session would be 2 hours. She wondered if I would be able to stay for that long and take care of my babies. She also told me that it was not an English class and if I wanted to learn English, signing up for a class would help me learn English faster.
I was told that it is a place where you talk about culture and other topics with immigrants from all over the world. I decided to sign up because I wanted to learn about cultures and understand how other people think and cope with their life in the US. I really liked the conversation circles and felt that I was in the right environment because the people were kind, supportive and understood me well. The facilitators in LTP were familiar with the challenges that I was facing and connected me to The welcoming Center (TWC) family where I became happier because I really enjoyed the environment. When I found LTP and The Welcoming Center, I felt hope that I could live in the US and be happy because before that, I was only staying at home and feeling stressed. LTP gave me a place to grow and gain knowledge.
I recall when we first arrived in the US, we tried contacting colleges and universities to continue learning but we were told we had to begin college. Finding LTP was like hope to grow for me. I have participated in 2 conversation circles cycles so far. In the first circle, I was pregnant with my second daughter, and I decided to participate in LTP because I knew that my first daughter will be in daycare. While I was pregnant in the first circle it was not easy to be a conversation circle for 2 hours and sit in one place. The members of the circle were very considerate about my situation, and I was able to turn off my camera when needed while listening and talking.
In the second conversation circle I had 2 small kids who needed attention and wanted to play with me. A friend of mine was not able to continue because her daughter was very active, and she was not able to sit for 2 hours. It is not easy for moms because not everyone is able to take their babies to daycare because it is expensive and many moms have to stay at home with their babies.
I would recommend having shorter conversation circles for moms 3 times a week during the daytime when the babies are asleep, mostly around 12:30pm in the afternoon. I shared about LTP with moms in my community, but they thought that it would be difficult with kids. As a pregnant mom it was a very good experience to talk to other people because when you are pregnant, you deal with emotional feelings, and you need people to share your feelings with. LTP has been a good place to practice English while having conversations with other people. My advice to other moms is that if they can plan and organize, they can do this because though it is challenging, they can do it. Moms need people who will support them by reassuring them that they are doing well with their kids. It is a way of uplifting their moods because they love hearing supportive words. New moms need to ask for advice from other moms like my friend Samantha, who was worried about her baby with the yellow skin condition, so that they can encourage each other. I would love to be able to support other moms in LTP.
I really liked the conversation circles and felt that I was in the right environment because the people were kind, supportive and understood me well.
Madina Tadzhibaeva
I would say that LTP is a place where you can discover your potential, improve your skills, and learn a lot from others. After being connected to LTP and TWC I feel like I do everything, I can fly, and do anything I want. I have the power to improve my knowledge and skills and move on to reach something big. My dreams and goals are to first raise my daughters and give them the best education. My second goal is to educate myself, work, buy a house, a car, and live our lives to the best. I would love to be a facilitator in LTP and was hoping for circles in the summer but since they will continue in September, I will try to be a facilitator.
