Art by Yuliia Chepysheva, Ukrane
Written by Maureen Murugi Smith
Our conversation circle connected every Tuesday and Thursday from 10:00am to 12:00pm. It was a pleasure to participate in the circle, make new friends as we learnt new things about different countries and cultures. We talked about things honestly and openly as we shared about family, culture, homesickness, talking from the genuineness of our hearts while building our confidence in the process and our level of English speaking. We became familiar with more places in Philadelphia and began to learn about American culture and realized there is so much to learn about culture.
Despite not being sure of how to express ourselves in the beginning and even with the awkwardness of some moments of silence, we learnt to listen to each other. Appreciating our diverse accents and making time to listen and give space to each participant to express themselves. Our circle was very friendly and motivating as well as inspirational to us all as we talked about some of our favorite topics that included our hobbies, education, favorite movies and thought of the influence they have had on our lives. One highlight of our circle was that everyone was open-minded, respectful, and so willing to co-facilitate. We loved that all the participants had a chance to choose the topics and lead the conversation.
Learning from each other and realizing the similarities in our cultures and the values that we hold dear. Being able to have deep conversations on friendship and having one creative participant share a description of FRIEND
F means Fighting – A real friend will always stand with you, especially when you face some hard time in your life like sickness, they would like to help you to overcome the sickness and fight together. They will let you know you are not alone; they will get you more confidence and more power to beat trouble.
R means Respect-There are no two identical leaves in the world. Real friends know your religion, your customs, and your values. Although you are very similar, you are still different. So, they know how to give your personal space and respect your decision.
I means Imitate– When you get a real friend, there is an interesting phenomenon where they imitate each other and may end up having similar customs, values, favorite sports and religion,and unconsciously imitate each other to prove their relationship. On the other hand, some people get a feeling of belonging from imitation. When we were born, we felt lonely to come to the world, but real friends let you know, you are not alone.
E means Emotional-We like someone who becomes our real friend depending on instinct. This instinct comes from our heart and not from a textbook or rational calculation. Humans are emotional creatures. We use rational ways to build science, and emotional ways to touch our spirit.
N means Need. When I first learned English, I learned the proverb “A friend in need is a friend indeed.” That’s why I chose “Fighting” for the letter “F”. Need means a situation where your friends really need your help. This situation will tell who your real friend is.
D means Directly. If you have real friends, you are willing to tell them the reality about you including some bad information or real need. You don’t have to pretend you are fine or you can overcome them by yourself. Just speak out! For your real friends, I think the reverse is also true.
Our circle is determined to continue building on the connections and the friendships that we are creating. We want to continue with our circle and our conversations because through our conversations we found new ways to be engaged in the community with The Welcoming Center and we hope that can be in touch with everyone and see each other in person one day soon.
