My name is Pavel Neigum, if you don’t mind I will share my US story with you. I’m from Russia and my wife Elena and I moved to the US 3 years ago. I moved first in August 2019, because I had to find the next home for my family.
The process of looking for a house was the first barrier for me. I didn’t know what a money order was, I didn’t have a credit score, and I used public transportation in the small city of Albany, NY. The second barrier was I didn’t know where a grocery store was and again, I used public transportation. I guess you already found out that public transportation was my third barrier. I had been learning English for 3 years in advance of our move but it wasn’t good enough to interact with local people on the same level as in my country. It was an everyday issue that I could solve in one minute in Russia, but not here and it was hard to admit when you are 33 years old. I knew that I would not be able to overcome all these barriers if I shielded myself from them. At that time I had doubts about our decision to move but I said to myself:
“You must try and do everything you can to stay here. This is the time when you are checking yourself – Who are you? Are you soft like dough or are you strong like an oak?”
Elena arrived in September 2019 and brought our cat and a bunch of her books. We were lucky that we met good people who gave us a lot of valuable pieces of advice. We met Russian and English speakers who helped us with our suitcases, some of them picked us up every Sunday to drive to church, and many people invited my wife and I to their homes. We never felt loneliness. We met many very interesting people and even found out some new things about Russian history. Despite the first year being a little bit boring, because of the small city, it was incredible at the same time.
One day we were invited by our friends to visit Philadelphia and after the visit, we decided to start our second year in Philadelphia. Moving from Albany to Philly on a U-Haul truck is another big story that could take a dedicated page. Anyways, we were much more self-confident at that point. We have been living in Philadelphia for 2 years now and we met many wonderful people from different countries. Elena opened an art studio where she provides art classes for kids and adults and from time to time, she has had open lessons in different local social communities. She is a person who needs time to get used to a new place but she already found everything that she needs in Philly.
I wanted to improve my English and went to Community college but they told me that according to my English level, I could go to The Welcoming Center for the IPP course. We met Let’s talk Philly via The Welcoming Center in 2021 and started our first conversation circle as participants. In the beginning, we thought that it was English classes but later we realized that it is wider than just classes. In LTP people try to build friendships. Not every participant matches everyone and it takes time but according to our experience, it works.
In 2022 I was offered to take a facilitator role and I had a lot of doubts and asked for some time to think about it. I took this offer and today when I look back to that time I know it was a good decision. In the beginning, I was very nervous, and at this point, I want to say “Thank you” to my co-facilitator Kasia – she is amazing. We had many awesome discussions with our group and we touched on many very interesting topics.You know, when you have conversations with people the main value is diversity of opinions. When many people from different countries come in one room (online) it’s much better, since they have different opinions from different cultures.
In the summer of 2022, I was asked to help with Wellness day for LTP. I became a part of the Organizing team. In my personal opinion, we prepared a warm and cozy event with a guest speaker, cross-stitch embroidery, calligraphy classes and board games.We have never had psychological issues with being here even during pandemic times but we are glad when someone who feels unconfident or needs people connections can find support in LTP. Conversation with real people is the best way to stay online in real life, not lock yourself in the box.
In my personal opinion, LTP does a big job to socialize people, and helping them to find a place where they can feel safe – it is like an island of calm.
We decided to live in Philly and we definitely know that the coming time will bring a lot of new experiences and emotions. Ask me to tell you about that in years to come and I will reply that all these days we were with good friends.
